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my body felt very2 sore and in pain. it cause so much energy as to walk in the plant, running and sit. it happen every time when my palnt shutdown and i have to do some regenaration of the filter. so much require energy and muscle as to lift up the barrel of 10% acid into regen skid and have to wait another 40min to complete. for the first and second round its nothing. but after a long session of 14 hours of picking up and waiting. it really burn me up. i just have to continue finish it so that today i can get ready when the plant want to start up. i really need to resolve with this issue, start and finish no matter what. honestly it is not my best trait and i tend to stop when some projects turn sour. my internet soul not strong enough and easy to back down. so i think with this effort, i thought i can learn and fight back devil inside me.

  after that, after all the gruelling and pushing job, i’m done for it. but i can’t sit down as my ass don’t fell like it and my ATP or adrenalin is like pour like river inside me. so i just kind of wandering around the plant, just want to see other people working with so much dedication, focus and do it with confidence. it s like i’m the only one little boy who don’t have ultraman toy and other guys play it with joy and a lot of smile. why i don’t have what they have, why can’t i do it with focus and confidence? i’m like nothing to them and were left so far way just like i just can get enough to get after. i’m sooooo much of lazyness bullshit stuff with a lot happen in my brain which it happen to be useless. damn it, it soo just different between them and me.

last stop, IGV section which there were 3-5 guys cleaning the air intake of the turbine. it just so happen my gut push me to get inside. well, i maybe kind of can’t stand of closed space but i just want to see what happened inside. finally i can see the process and there were guys, wearing PPE and bare hand and foot washing and cleaning the blade. in there, the smell of acid and perspirant wildly vapor which i kind of ignore it because my view is on the guys. they work so hard until their body soak up with water, their hair just like so thin, maybe because of th effect of acid cleaning and their eyes were wildly red. but the best part is, some of the guy’s skin feet were red and some of it torn off. it just so red they just continue without give a damn about it. i felt so sad for them, working so hard as to earn money and be in a very dangerous place. i felt kind of light as to see them working because i taught i was the only one who have to busting my ass to do my job but they were far more worse. it is not kind of differenciate the senario but what kind of job that we do, what’s matter is the result and when the result is good, we the doer also felt good. maybe i will less complainig about my work and by remembering those guys who do their job so great in THAT IGV, makes me want to push my self a lot futher. i need to do that. 

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 4th, 2007 at 8:26 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.